Meet Ms. J/The Situation of the Lovely Ms. J...In Print

Hi folks. I had the opportunity to write a "Meet My Grandmother" article for the local paper here. I've changed names to protect the innocent, as we do around these parts...gotta retain that anonymity, of course. I'm glad I did it, since I had wanted to finish my bio of Ms. J and had thus far failed to do so.

So, here it is.

Meet My Grandmother
by Miss R


 I received a letter recently from an uncle on my mother's side of the family. He offered up advice and encouragement on my current situation, caring for my disabled grandmother. She is my father's mother, thus not a blood relative of this particular uncle. However, he knew her fairly well and was able to describe her to a "T." He used three words in his portrayal of her: conservative, self-reliant and stubborn. 



How accurate.



"Conservative" does indeed describe Ms. J (aka, "Gram"), but only in part. Conservative in political beliefs perhaps, though there is so much more to her than her voter registration card. For instance, my grandmother was "green" before such a term was ever in vogue. Whether it was due to living through the Depression or because of her Scottish roots, I am unsure. (Apparently I am descended from one of the thriftiest nationalities ever to exist.) I also owe my feminist views to my Grandma, though she'd never admit to having anything to do with that dreaded "F-word." Whether she likes it or not, she taught me that as a woman, nothing should hold you back. She was as rough and tumble as any of the ranch hands she knew, and was always the one to tackle home-improvement projects with the gusto of a dog attacking a small animal. Yet, she always had a warm meal ready for "the men" when they came home from a day's work in the field. (I wouldn't be surprised if she was also out in the field with them and was somehow cooking dinner at the same time.)


This brings me to the second adjective my uncle used: "self-reliant." She would always see the home-improvement projects through until they were completely finished, and to her satisfaction. There was no waiting around for anyone. In the spring of the year, when I was a kid, she and my mother would load up my cousins and me and head for the Cabin to fix leaks and cracks in the waterline that formed over the winter. It may not sound like much, but if you understood that a mountain spring was at one end, the Cabin at the other, and how many feet of pvc tubing was in between (a lot), you'd understand what an undertaking that was. Or, if that doesn't illustrate my point, maybe the phrase "let's just take out that wall" does. I think that was her favorite phrase. Family members practically had to hide the crowbar and other [de]construction implements from her, lest we all be drug in to yet another project. I'm pretty sure I grumbled and groaned about this as a kid, or hid in corners or something. Now that I'm in my twenties and have the gift of perfect hindsight, I can see just how admirable her attitude was.


That leaves us with the third word: Stubborn. I recently read a blog that described living in rural Montana as being a lot like being duct-taped inside a refrigerator box with a bear. Well, telling Grandma she was wrong about something might also be described that way. You took your survival into your own hands. Again, this trait is usually blamed on our Scottish heritage. Supposedly the Scots are known to be bull-headed and bellicose. At least, that's the rumor. 


In any case, those three words do describe Gram pretty well. However, many others do too, such as hospitable, talented, outgoing, and adventurous. A few words about her life history will help illustrate my point.

"-----", as she was christened, was born to Christina and Benjamin J. on August 9th, 1922. The family lived in Springdale Montana at the time, as her father worked with the Yellowstone Park Company. A few years later the family moved to Chestnut Valley where she was raised from then on. She had two older sisters, Ms. M and Ms. N, and a younger brother B. Many memorable stories have been told about this time period. For instance, her mother worked as a switchboard operator, and wore roller-skates at work each day in order to make the fastest connections she could. Also, her paternal grandfather employed Charlie Russell as a chore-boy.

She grew up riding horses every day, usually bareback and regardless of the weather. These were the years of the Great Depression, and Gram would always share with us the various ways she and her family saved money and helped out those who were less fortunate than themselves. As I've mentioned, she always taught us to "waste not, want not" and had many creative ways to reuse or recycle everything under the sun. Nothing was ever thrown away unless it was absolutely necessary. No, if it could be washed and reused, it would be. This included plastic plates, cups, and yes, Ziplock bags. 
 In the winter of 1940, Ms. J married the love of her life, Mr. J. They met on her family's ranch, where he worked as a ranch hand for several years before they started courting.  After their marriage, the two moved to a house in Dodge, which was built by Mr. J's uncle. Gram lives in that very same house today. In 1955, Mr. and Ms J began an outfitting business on the south fork of Stickney Creek. The building was originally homesteaded by Mr. J's father, who was a prominent lawyer. The lodge, known to most as "The Cabin" grew over the years to become quite successful. Many seasons of hunting brought the family life-long friendships, including one with Apollo 13 astronaut Jim Lovell. The outfitting [business] specializes primarily in elk and mule deer hunting, though a few people--myself included--enjoy fishing Stickney Creek for mouthwatering Brook trout.


Ms. and Mr. J had three children, M. in 1941, R. 1945, and S. in 1951. Nothing meant more to Gram than her kids and the grandchildren they gave her. I was only one of many children that she helped raise throughout the years--her house was the go-to place for her kids, her kid's kids, and other people's kids. Everyone knew that Ms. J's house was the place to be. There was always yummy food on the table and a warm bed for anyone who needed or wanted it. Plus, she always had a way of making you feel special.


 Ms. J also had quite the adventurous side. She had ridden since she was a small child, and ordinarily thought nothing of getting thrown off a horse. Somewhere around 1970, she was bucked off one of her ranch horses and landed on her neck. As a result, she needed surgery and had her spine fused back together. It was pretty serious business, but it always was that way with Gram. She has had many surgeries through the years due to her active lifestyle. Somehow she was able to balance her wild side with proper manners, classy style and superb taste. (I should probably add "shopping at Kitsons" to her list of favorite hobbies.)


The eighties proved to be trying times. In 1989, after almost a year of treatment, Ms. J's beloved husband passed away in Spokane, Washington. His death was devastating to her and to the rest of the family. Ms. J kept on outfitting with the help of her sons and other family members. She also continued to run the "Star" mail route up Adel and Mission, which she did for 30-odd years. I recall coming home from school one day to find out that a pickup truck had backed over Gram's leg as she was on her way to deliver mail. What did she do? Went down to the post office anyway and started sorting the mail--fully intending to run the route! It wasn't until the postmaster pointed to the blood running down her leg did she agree that, yes, she supposed that seeing a doctor might in fact be a good idea. Stubborn, indeed.

Gram is also very talented and outgoing. She was an active member of Eastern Star and Daughters of the Nile, and because of her rich knowledge of the Dodge area, frequently added to Mountains and Meadows. She also belonged to Women's Club, was a lifetime member of the Methodist Church, and taught Sunday School. Ms. J also had a beautiful voice, regularly sang in choirs, and could play music by ear. (A talent I certainly did not inherit.)

Ms. J was once given an award for "Best Hunting Camp Cook" by some of the hunting lodge's patrons. She enjoyed cooking even outside of the Cabin, and made fabulous wedding and birthday cakes. She always made the most scrumptious treats for every holiday, such as Bunny Rolls for Easter, popcorn balls at Christmas, corned beef and cabbage on St. Patty's Day, etc. Truly, feeding people probably counts as one of her favorite things to do. Since she's been disabled, it's been very hard on her to not be the one to cook for her guests. Since it then falls to me, I find myself nervous that I won't be able to fill her shoes, even if I did have the best teacher imaginable.

A further example of her outgoing nature is her ability to make friends. She would chat with people while standing in line at the DMV and recognize them five years later when she ran into them in the grocery aisle of Sam's Club. Her outgoing nature and attention to detail meant that she never forgot a face...or a story. Story-telling, one of her other talents, was one that produced the most memorable childhood moments. On her way to work, my mother would leave me at my grandparent's house in Dodge, and I would cuddle in bed with Gram. She would tell me story after story about flower fairies, moonbeams, and silly stories about hiding under the bed amongst "fuzz balls."

Over the last ten years, Gram has survived strokes and a broken hip. Her health has been in steep decline over the last year, and the doctors tell us that she doesn't have much longer to live. This news saddens all of us, and all of the family has rallied around to visit.  This article has given me the chance to tell the community about my loving grandmother at a time when I most needed to share all that she has done for me and for others. She spends her days relaxing and watching some of her favorite shows, and we make sure that she laughs loudly and often. Her memory is as keen as ever and her sense of humor just as riotous.


Each of us might boast that we have the grandma that baked the best pie crust, made the best spaghetti sauce, or gave the best hugs. However, I would venture a guess that Ms. J could easily be in the running as one of the toughest grannies ever to grace Montana soil. Somehow, through all of it, she remained a pretty classy lady who taught me and many others valuable lessons. (And also how to bake the best pie crust, make the best spaghetti sauce, and give the best hugs.)