I worry a lot that Ms. J will lose mental acuity from all the time she sits in front of the television. She worries about it as well, and gave me instructions to find a word game for her during today's Barnes & Noble trip.
I decided that this card game version of Scattergories was a good one. It's really a good substitute for the full game, especially since she can't write now. I have a feeling she will have fun with this, since it's something the whole family can enjoy. It's very sad to play games during the holidays and have her just sitting there, watching us. Cruel, I think, could be another term for it. I would like to keep her included in everything we do, so she feels like she is still a part of things. I can't imagine how it would feel to be unable to participate after always having been the matriarch of the family, the one who always made sure everyone was included.
Anyone else have some good word game ideas?
Saturday, November 28, 2009
Getting Out of The Hospital
We got Ms. J safely out of the hospital yesterday evening after the nurse practitioner deemed her healthy enough to return home. She is being as feisty as ever.
My father is home, and is attempting--sort of--to help with the caregiving. The whole reason I am here is because he has been gone on business. I swear, his fuse is getting shorter and shorter each time he returns. He seems to have no patience with his mother, whatsoever. It is seriously ulcer-inducing for those of us who have to listen to their squabbling. It stresses me out to hear them interact.
Hold on, must reposition her.
I don't know how much longer...hold on, need to get water.
Now I can't find the dang Thick-It. Sheez. I ought to just buy a case of the stuff.
Anyway, I can't remember what I was going to say. Something to do with getting Ms. J back from the hospital. Oh, they took her off most of the pain meds, thinking that was causing her to pass out on us. So, now the poor lady can't get comfortable and is cranky and irritated from breakthrough pain. I really don't know what the solution might be.
My father is home, and is attempting--sort of--to help with the caregiving. The whole reason I am here is because he has been gone on business. I swear, his fuse is getting shorter and shorter each time he returns. He seems to have no patience with his mother, whatsoever. It is seriously ulcer-inducing for those of us who have to listen to their squabbling. It stresses me out to hear them interact.
Hold on, must reposition her.
I don't know how much longer...hold on, need to get water.
Now I can't find the dang Thick-It. Sheez. I ought to just buy a case of the stuff.
Anyway, I can't remember what I was going to say. Something to do with getting Ms. J back from the hospital. Oh, they took her off most of the pain meds, thinking that was causing her to pass out on us. So, now the poor lady can't get comfortable and is cranky and irritated from breakthrough pain. I really don't know what the solution might be.
Thursday, November 26, 2009
Thanksgiving
Well, it has certainly been a time of great thankfulness. Ms. J is doing better, she's surrounded by family, AND her wheelchair has been returned. (Still no idea where it was hiding. Bad chair!)
I had breakfast with my father, then went to the hospital to get Ms. J's makeup on and such. Just in time, as the family started filing in after that. A few hours later, I took off to go make dinner.
And boy, it turned out GOOD. Really, it did. I used a recipe from the Food Network to brine the turkey, and it was almost perfect. (Slightly too much salt, IMO.) Following that came yams, green beans, squash, stuffing, cranberries, turkey cookies, stewed oysters, and pie. Yum. My parents and I ate, then pureed everything and took small portions to Ms. J. She liked it all, except the oysters. Apparently they don't do well when blended.
There was a considerable lack of mashed potatoes in my T-Giving meal, since Ms. J hates them now. They use instant potatoes to puree everything at THE HOME or at the hospital, so they've lost favor.
So many things to be thankful for this year...thanks to God for letting us keep Ms. J for a bit longer. Thanks to certain family members who have finally come around.
I had breakfast with my father, then went to the hospital to get Ms. J's makeup on and such. Just in time, as the family started filing in after that. A few hours later, I took off to go make dinner.
And boy, it turned out GOOD. Really, it did. I used a recipe from the Food Network to brine the turkey, and it was almost perfect. (Slightly too much salt, IMO.) Following that came yams, green beans, squash, stuffing, cranberries, turkey cookies, stewed oysters, and pie. Yum. My parents and I ate, then pureed everything and took small portions to Ms. J. She liked it all, except the oysters. Apparently they don't do well when blended.
There was a considerable lack of mashed potatoes in my T-Giving meal, since Ms. J hates them now. They use instant potatoes to puree everything at THE HOME or at the hospital, so they've lost favor.
So many things to be thankful for this year...thanks to God for letting us keep Ms. J for a bit longer. Thanks to certain family members who have finally come around.
Wednesday, November 25, 2009
Too Much Poop To Tell
Ms. J still can't go home til we figure out what is going on with her blood pressure and whatnot. They haven't ruled out the narcotics as a reason for her episodes, though. I truly would not be surprised if her pain meds were the cause for some of these problems.
She had several more visitors today, one of whom brought us some homemade zucchini bread. Yum. I spent the afternoon cutting up a turkey and attempting a brine...I did it in quite a hurry and am not sure it will be successful. We will be having Thanksgiving up at the hospital, but I don't want to make too much food since only a few of us will be eating it. Ms. J's appetite is almost nonexistent, and what she does eat has to be pureed or very, very soft. So, I'm not entirely sure how this will all go down.
Saw a good friend from the past today...someone whom I haven't seen in years. He and I grew up together from the time we were born, really. It was nice to see him and his wife, though I wish he had met under better circumstances...his step-father is in an induced coma in ICU.
Ms. J was in some pain today, and was also very emotional. I can always tell when she's hurting-she starts to complain a lot and simply canNOT get comfortable. All day long she was like that. I suppose when you think about it, many of us act that way. When we are hurting, either physically or emotionally, we become negative and get upset over the tiniest thing. Poor Gram. If it wasn't one thing, it was another.
We finally got an abdominal X-Ray today, but the Doc couldn't tell if the Diverticulitis was acting up or not. To quote her specifically, "there's too much poop to tell." I find that funny. Oh, and Ms. J got her Laugh Of The Day when I tried to explain her bowel problems to the doctor, complete with wild gesticulations:
"We'd have nothing for days, then a HUUUGE blowout, nothing for days, then another HUUUUGE blowout..."
She laughed heartily at that. I suppose you really had to be there for the blowouts to understand how accurate of a description that really was. Well, Ms. J remembered, and thought it was pretty funny.
She had several more visitors today, one of whom brought us some homemade zucchini bread. Yum. I spent the afternoon cutting up a turkey and attempting a brine...I did it in quite a hurry and am not sure it will be successful. We will be having Thanksgiving up at the hospital, but I don't want to make too much food since only a few of us will be eating it. Ms. J's appetite is almost nonexistent, and what she does eat has to be pureed or very, very soft. So, I'm not entirely sure how this will all go down.
Saw a good friend from the past today...someone whom I haven't seen in years. He and I grew up together from the time we were born, really. It was nice to see him and his wife, though I wish he had met under better circumstances...his step-father is in an induced coma in ICU.
Ms. J was in some pain today, and was also very emotional. I can always tell when she's hurting-she starts to complain a lot and simply canNOT get comfortable. All day long she was like that. I suppose when you think about it, many of us act that way. When we are hurting, either physically or emotionally, we become negative and get upset over the tiniest thing. Poor Gram. If it wasn't one thing, it was another.
We finally got an abdominal X-Ray today, but the Doc couldn't tell if the Diverticulitis was acting up or not. To quote her specifically, "there's too much poop to tell." I find that funny. Oh, and Ms. J got her Laugh Of The Day when I tried to explain her bowel problems to the doctor, complete with wild gesticulations:
"We'd have nothing for days, then a HUUUGE blowout, nothing for days, then another HUUUUGE blowout..."
She laughed heartily at that. I suppose you really had to be there for the blowouts to understand how accurate of a description that really was. Well, Ms. J remembered, and thought it was pretty funny.
Monday, November 23, 2009
A Trip To The ER And Then Some
Well, after two or three days of battling very high blood pressure, I finally decided to take Ms. J to the hospital. I let her decide whether to travel via ambulance or Yukon, and she chose the latter. So, I loaded her up with a bit of help from my mother, and took her in. We were admitted right away, which was nice, but we ended up in the ER till about 4 a.m. They admitted her because of her--ahem--constipation and her high blood pressure. I stayed with her as they got her a little situated, but she was so upset and so tired. I just couldn't bear to leave her. She was so emotional from lack of sleep and I think from also being so frightened at the general situation. I told her I'd stay with her for as long as she wanted me to after she looked up at me from the hospital bed with such worry in her eyes. I haven't felt such anguish in a while. Sure, I've been stressed with all of this, but seeing such acute fear in her just tore my heart in half. She was so weak and stiff that she couldn't press the call button on her own. And with the Lactolase working on her, she was having to call the nurses about every 2 minutes. (If anyone has had experience with that stuff, you know that it takes about 30 minutes to work. Well, with my grandmother, it took about 4 hours. And when it works...it...works.) I talked with the CNA and we rigged the button with an EKG sticker so she could feel it. I tried in vain to calm her and get her to stop crying for a while longer, but finally her tiredness overcame her and she started to relax. I tucked her in and decided to head back home (a 30 minute drive) to get the toiletries, robes, etc., that she requested. On the way, I realized I was much more tired myself than I had realized. I suppose several nights of limited or no sleep will do that. Still, I'm lucky that my absent-minded reveries didn't land me in a ditch, and that I didn't run out of gas. I had been on E for the whole trip and completely forgot to fill up before I left town.
As I drove, I made several calls to friends and family to let them know what was going on, and arranged for people to go up and spend time with her. I had to...I kept seeing her fearful, scared face, and thought about how stressed and frightened she probably was. What if the nurses didn't get to her in time and she choked or something? I have lost one grandparent to a situation like that before. Never again.
Anyway, my dear, wonderful mother (who has been so amazing during all of this) went up and sat with Ms. J until another friend arrived, who was then followed by my aunt and my grandmother's caregiver. After that, my formerly estranged cousin showed up and fed Ms. J some dinner. Meanwhile, I was fielding calls from more friends and family and attempting to catch some zzz's. I was able to get a few hours in, but the whole time I had stressful and scary dreams about things spiraling out of control. It wasn't good. When I awoke, I realized my mother had been there the whole time, fielding more calls and hoping to help me out when I finally came 'round. She's so awesome.
I am so blessed. Really, I am. I think my grandmother is starting to realize that she is, too.
I finally made it back to town, after having deliriously packed several bags of things into the Yukon. I'm notoriously bad at accurately packing suitcases, and almost always pack more than I need. (You just never know what you might want on hand!) By the time I got back to the hospital, Ms. J was out like a light and sleeping peacefully. I taped up some pictures of family to the wall and brought my cousin's flowers so that she might enjoy them before they wilted completely.
Now, I am tossing back a glass of wine, half a chocolate bar, and watching a Gossip Girl. My kitty made the trip in to my mother's with me, where we will stay until Ms. J is out of the hospital. It's only a few blocks away, which is highly convenient. Tomorrow I hope to get to the hospital around 9 or so. For now...I must sleep.
Oh, and did I mention that the hospital has lost my grandmother's wheelchair? Yeah.
As I drove, I made several calls to friends and family to let them know what was going on, and arranged for people to go up and spend time with her. I had to...I kept seeing her fearful, scared face, and thought about how stressed and frightened she probably was. What if the nurses didn't get to her in time and she choked or something? I have lost one grandparent to a situation like that before. Never again.
Anyway, my dear, wonderful mother (who has been so amazing during all of this) went up and sat with Ms. J until another friend arrived, who was then followed by my aunt and my grandmother's caregiver. After that, my formerly estranged cousin showed up and fed Ms. J some dinner. Meanwhile, I was fielding calls from more friends and family and attempting to catch some zzz's. I was able to get a few hours in, but the whole time I had stressful and scary dreams about things spiraling out of control. It wasn't good. When I awoke, I realized my mother had been there the whole time, fielding more calls and hoping to help me out when I finally came 'round. She's so awesome.
I am so blessed. Really, I am. I think my grandmother is starting to realize that she is, too.
I finally made it back to town, after having deliriously packed several bags of things into the Yukon. I'm notoriously bad at accurately packing suitcases, and almost always pack more than I need. (You just never know what you might want on hand!) By the time I got back to the hospital, Ms. J was out like a light and sleeping peacefully. I taped up some pictures of family to the wall and brought my cousin's flowers so that she might enjoy them before they wilted completely.
Now, I am tossing back a glass of wine, half a chocolate bar, and watching a Gossip Girl. My kitty made the trip in to my mother's with me, where we will stay until Ms. J is out of the hospital. It's only a few blocks away, which is highly convenient. Tomorrow I hope to get to the hospital around 9 or so. For now...I must sleep.
Oh, and did I mention that the hospital has lost my grandmother's wheelchair? Yeah.
Sunday, November 22, 2009
Battle of BP
Ms. J and I have been battling high blood pressure all day today. I am getting quite scared and her regular caregiver thinks we should take her into the ER. I was here alone today, taking advice and orders via text from my dad (the naturopath) as well as from Gram's caregiver. We tried magnesium orally and topically, a full magnesium bath, her regular blood pressure medication, elevating her feet, carrot and celery juice, more magnesium, chlorophyll, coconut oil, homeopathic silver, homeopathic Human Growth Hormone, and probably a few other things that I can't remember.
It has lowered to 163/87 now, which is still very high. Just an hour ago the bottom, the diastolic, was reaching 111...way, way, way too high. I had just gotten it down when a choking fit brought it right back up again. Sigh.
I am waiting for a call back from the doctor on call at the Clinic. Blah.
It has lowered to 163/87 now, which is still very high. Just an hour ago the bottom, the diastolic, was reaching 111...way, way, way too high. I had just gotten it down when a choking fit brought it right back up again. Sigh.
I am waiting for a call back from the doctor on call at the Clinic. Blah.
Saturday, November 21, 2009
The Situation of the Lovely Ms. J, Part 1
As this is my first post, I must say that the likelihood of all my paragraphs being completely disjointed is very high. My grandmother is very needy, and if I am writing while I am with her, I will probably have to pause every minute or so to reposition her or get her something.
Oh, and I have decided that as the need arises, I will be referring to Gram as "Ms. J" (who is not to be confused with Miss J on America's Next Top Model) for privacy purposes.
My grandmother has always been the matriarch of the family, but over the years has been declining in health due to strokes, broken hips, and various other injuries. She is completely dependent on her caregivers for all her needs. She has also been estranged from several close family members, which has sometimes made her decline a lonely one. She is 87, has spent her life on ranches, farms and in hunting lodges, been married and widowed, produced 3 kids (and helped raise countless others) and has always been very hard-working. The fact that she is now what they call a "full-assist" is very hard for her, as you might imagine.
Hold on, must reheat the hot water bottle.
Ok, back. So anyway, Ms. J grew up knowing how to work and how to make others work, too. For lack of a better way of putting it, my grandmother was always known for being a control freak. This, along with a few of her other less amiable traits, did tend to drive some people (usually of a similar nature) away. Still, she has always been a very loving woman, and has cared for many people under this very roof. Relatives, friend's children, the friend's children's children...the list is too numerous to even begin. She always cooked for everyone, made sure manners were up to par.
...To be continued. Time to get Gram to bed.
Oh, and I have decided that as the need arises, I will be referring to Gram as "Ms. J" (who is not to be confused with Miss J on America's Next Top Model) for privacy purposes.
My grandmother has always been the matriarch of the family, but over the years has been declining in health due to strokes, broken hips, and various other injuries. She is completely dependent on her caregivers for all her needs. She has also been estranged from several close family members, which has sometimes made her decline a lonely one. She is 87, has spent her life on ranches, farms and in hunting lodges, been married and widowed, produced 3 kids (and helped raise countless others) and has always been very hard-working. The fact that she is now what they call a "full-assist" is very hard for her, as you might imagine.
Hold on, must reheat the hot water bottle.
Ok, back. So anyway, Ms. J grew up knowing how to work and how to make others work, too. For lack of a better way of putting it, my grandmother was always known for being a control freak. This, along with a few of her other less amiable traits, did tend to drive some people (usually of a similar nature) away. Still, she has always been a very loving woman, and has cared for many people under this very roof. Relatives, friend's children, the friend's children's children...the list is too numerous to even begin. She always cooked for everyone, made sure manners were up to par.
...To be continued. Time to get Gram to bed.
Welcome!
Welcome to Imovetoes.blogspot.com! I am a family caregiver, and hope to share the experience with others out there who are in a similar situation. While I am new to caregiving, I hope that my daily trials and blessings both may resonate with someone out there!
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